So whenever I read a friend's blog, I think "that's really cool, I should do that"...and then a few months later, when I read it again, I think the same thing but I never actually do it. So today, I'm going to start. Who knows if I'll stick with it and who knows if anyone will even read it but even if they don't, that's ok. I want to do this for me and for the kids, somewhere to share our memories and everyday life experiences; a place to look back read over and see what has changed and how we have grown. Here goes nothing. :)

Today, when I picked Elizabeth up from school, she told me she's been nominated for Student of the Month, which is apparently a big deal at Countryside High School. She gets to go to lunch and miss school and get a plaque (much better than the normal paper certificates). This got me thinking about all the times she has received this award in the past, how many times I sat in those monthly ceremonies and watched her go up and receive one award or another.

And that got me thinking about Garick, who is in 4th grade and has received it exactly once, and really, it was only because his teacher tried to make sure everyone in the class got it throughout the year. I worry about him, and for him, and I question how my children could be so very different. It's not that Garick is a bad student, although the ADHD doesn't help at all, he's just not one of those stand out kind of students. He gets good grades, rarely misses a day and yet...he's always overlooked. And then we have Elizabeth, who without even really trying sometimes, gets all kinds of awards and recognition. I wonder how Garick feels about that, if he notices, how it effects his view of himself.

I know her performance in school (and really, in life) has set a high bar for him to achieve, she is what I compare him to. I know that's not fair, he is his own person but the expectation is there. I expect him to do well, to always try his best, and to care about what grades he gets and how he is looked at by his teachers. Maybe the bar is too high, maybe I should just let him do what he's going to do and not worry so much about it. However, I can't help it. I will not lower my expectations of him, not because of what Elizabeth has done, but because of what I know he can do. I know he can excel in life and in school, I just have to find a way to get that to click, to get him to care. Haven't figured that one out just yet but I will, because the ability is there (currently, one of his teachers thinks he may be a genius and wants his IQ tested).

To me, setting those expectations and helping him reach them are my job. I didn't have anyone to do that for me and I wish I would have. So I will continue to watch and worry and cajole and support and one day, it will click, it will happen.

Of course, in a few months, Andrew will enter the school system and I'll have another one to worry about. Actually, I've already started but that's a story for another day.